The Scythians are a bloodthirsty, slave-trading, warrior tribe and males and females use bows and arrows from birth with great accuracy. They travel in hemp-covered wagons, are fantastically tattooed all over from a young age, and wear golden armor. This is the tribe that invented the wheel, domesticated the horse, and forged the Silk Road from Europe to China.
Their coming-of-age ritual is to kill an enemy in battle and drink his hot blood from his skull cap. Not so difficult when you understand the enemy is on foot and carries a battle ax, while the Scythian rides a horse and shoots with a recumbent bow, the tommy gun of the steppes.
The skull cap is encased in gold and used for future ceremonies. The Scythians especially love sweat lodges fumigated with cannabis flowers. Herodotus documents their ritual of drinking blood from their enemy’s decapitated skull cap. Much later, this same grisley ritual will be observed in Italy, practiced by the pagan Lombards.
The Scythians blind slaves they keep and send any offspring they produce to live with other clans. Children are raised in groups and do not know their actual parents, but treat all adults in the tribe as their parents. Anyone can make love with anyone, and a bow and quiver on the door of a wagon signifies copulation in progress.
One day, a young gay Scythian, who does not participate in battle, and who abhors the slave trade, discovers ground cannabis flowers mixed with hot milk has a greater effect than inhaling cannabis fumes in a sweat lodge, which is what everyone else is doing. He shares this concoction with his blind father and his father’s sight miraculously returns.
Golden cups are soon filled with cannabis and milk and not blood, thanks to revelations achieved through this new sacrament. The gay Scythian becomes the head Enaree, or shaman.
Act Two: The Year is 5,000 AD
The secrets of the young gay Scythian have long been lost, and the kingdom has been in perpetual war ever since. The king assembles his best knights and commands them to find the secret that will bring peace to the kingdom, which according to ancient legends is a golden grail held captive in a blackened forest.
The black forest is surrounded by a vast oil-drenched wasteland, guarded by a custodian called the Fisher King, who suffers from poisonous fumes emanating from the wasteland. One of the young knights manages to cross the wasteland alive without succumbing to its effects and gains entrance to the mysterious estate and soon discovers a princess bringing a golden cup to the ailing king in order to keep him alive. He discovers it is not really the cup that is important, but the medicine that goes inside.
The knight returns with the recipe for the sacrament and the concoction soon brings peace to the kingdom, while inspiring great creativity and frivolity.