For seven days I have dwelt in the halls of Wall Street playing strange Ape games
We picked the locks and now are surrounded
by sharks inside the Alamo.
Sad so many baby apes panicked today
and blew most of their precious powder
Apparently, they did not realize
how long this battle could last.
Gamestonk could go on for days.
The sharks have circled the Alamo
They have been feeding and full for now
There is so much blood in the water
from both sides
The sharks are divided
on who might provide tastier morsels
Shark filet, or Ape brains?
They can’t decide
and circle endlessly
They’ve been feasting on both flavors
And die if they don’t keep moving
It’s just a lull in their frenzy
Some want to vampire Caesar’s genius mind or buy his life rights for banana peels
Others think he’s the tastiest morsel of all.
Hold your powder for the bottom next time, Baby Apes
That’s how you get some bananas
This has been our first great Wall Street party
but it will not be the last
because now we know how to swim with the sharks and united
we are a shark too.
Do not be afraid to run with the Apes
Just don’t risk more than you can afford to lose.
In a few days we could be sharing porn loss
(do not wail with sorrow, porn loss amuses the Apes,
and unites us in the searing bolt of learning lessons
the hard way so you’ll never do that fucking shit again.)
Or, hopefully, we will show bananas,
and share karma kisses
It has been said Apes treat Wall Street like it’s a casino
You have a fucking problem with that?
Do not fear because the legend Phoenix420 walks with you,
his spirit will lead you to Valhalla and beyond.
He screenshots his Gamestonk trades
so rest assured he will not deceive you
Neither will Caesar, blessed be his name,
P420 is a worthless retard in comparison to the enlightened one.
How the fuck did Caesar convince so many Apes
to buy and not sell the peak?
What powerful magic lurks inside this Unicorn?
More than even he imagines.
Salute the greater legend, send telepathic love
(sure hope he doesn’t blow up tonight
and must be a real live wire
Despacito Caesar, every contact now could be
a spy from the SEC
There will be traps.)
Oh yeah, I remember now, It was that fucking “diamond hands”
bullshit that tricked us
We saw apes taking bananas.
And we said “hey, don’t take bananas yet,”
and they didn’t listen
because they knew the most fundamental law of Ape world,
take the fucking bananas.
Our lines have thinned bigly
Some here went all-in with life’s savings
and watched it all go Poof!
But before Darth Melvin wipes us out
We hold out hope for reinforcements
The ones who got bananas need to bring some back to the Alamo
so we can make more powder
Don’t disrespect our laws
Buy the fucking bottom retards!
And I promise if you do that
We will punch tickets to Valhalla and beyond
and I will never speak of your wife’s boyfriend on social media.
Brothers and sisters of the New Awakening
Crusaders of a new Era
Who among you will join the battle?
Please come to the Alamo soon.
Now night arrives
with her purple legions.
Retire to your beds and your dreams
Tomorrow we resume the Battle of the Apes on Wall Street
I want to be ready.