Reflections on spooks & kooks

In the beginning all knowledge was occult, meaning “kept secret,” including mathematics, music, medicine, chemistry, astronomy, metallurgy and philosophy. Eventually, however, the sciences and the study of telepathy parted ways, the former being accepted into the national academies while the later confined to forbidden secret societies.

Priests and clergy have always made some of the best spooks, and certainly the Jesuits are famous for founding universities and recruiting secret agents within their ranks. But when the Age of Enlightenment began to threaten the European oligarchies, there suddenly was an explosive growth in occultism. To quickly advance to the front lines, one merely had to claim some secret wisdom or magic power and arrange a fake demonstration, a mission easily accomplished, which is why so many spooks transformed into fake magicians during this period in history.

While there were many serious students of alchemy, astrology and the use of symbols and ritual to communicate with the unconscious mind, there were more fakers looking for an easy buck, or playing roles as spooks, than authentic mediums. There simply was no more influential position for a spook to play than as official royal fortune teller.

The Most Holy Trinosophia was an illustrated Finnegan’s-Wake-like guide to Egyptian magic containing tarot-like paintings with cryptic captions written in a variety of languages and esoteric codes. The 97-page book had the ability to supply multiple meanings since the imagination was forced to fill in blanks, the same magic trick employed by songwriters seeking universality. Many of its codes have yet to be cracked, probably because the author intended it that way. Manley P. Hall found two triangular copies, now owned by the Getty Museum, while the original resides in a French museum.

Cagliostro

Alessandro Cagliostro was the creator of the book, as well as the founder of a new branch of Masonry known as The Egyptian Rite, notable for its acceptance of Jews and women. Born in the Jewish quarter of Palermo, Sicily, as Giuseppe Balsamo, Cagliostro convinced a local goldsmith to loan him 70 pieces of silver and then departed Sicily to seek his fortune. He’d lured the goldsmith into a treasure hunting scheme, claiming he could locate a treasure while shielding against its evil curse.

In 1768, Cagliostro became secretary to Cardinal Orsini, and the following year Pope Clement XIII ordered a consistory to examine widespread demands requesting the suppression of the Society of Jesus. Many monarchs felt the Jesuits were a dangerous conspiracy of power as their influence had grown immensely since the order’s founding in 1534. The order had been recently expelled from France, Portugal, Naples and Sicily. This important consistory was scheduled for February 3, 1769, but whoops, Pope Clement turned up unexpectedly dead on the morning of February 2nd.

While I’m not connecting Cagliostro to this mischief, this background illustrates the intense conspiratorial reality during the Enlightenment, something Jesuits were trying to roll back through the power of the Inquisition.

Cagliostro was making his living forging Egyptian art and amulets (which he no doubt represented as ancient and magical) when he met the beautiful 17-year-old Serafina and swiftly proposed. Soon, Serafina was dangled in front of a forger named Agliata, who agreed to surrender the secrets of expert forgery in exchange for a night or two alone with Serafina, to which Cagliostro readily consented.

The couple soon traveled to London and made contact with the mysterious Compte de Saint-Germain, one of the greatest spooks of the time. In 1776, Cagilostro was inducted into the Esperance Lodge No. 289 on Gerrard Street in Soho, and four years later, founded Egyptian freemasonry. He began traveling throughout Europe in an attempt to unite the Masonic community under his umbrella, as he felt his Egyptian rites preceded all others. He was eventually arrested in Rome by Jesuit Inquisitors and died while in captivity. Aleister Crowley believed he was Cagliostro in a previous life.

The Count of Saint-Germain’s origins are shrouded in mystery. Although he claimed royal birth, that was most likely a lie, although he was well financed throughout most his life. He was constantly inventing autobiographical fables, usually claiming he was over a hundred years old and sometimes much older. He claimed to have discovered the secret of the Philosopher’s Stone.

The Count was also a talented composer who published an extensive array of sonatas and arias, as well as being fluent in many languages. Mostly, he was an expert in flattery and seduction.

These are the foundations upon which Blavatsky and Crowley constructed their philosophies. That and the tradition of using spooky symbols to scare people, an art that was all the rage in Paris prior to and during the Revolution. There was a side to the occult based in sadomasochism and the art of amplifying fear, for fear is one of the easiest emotions to evoke, especially during times of civil unrest. This trend can still be found all over the Internet today employed by spooks and kooks. Just try to keep in mind, any time they try to scare you with religion or magic, it’s always a hoodwink. Always.

The Mysterious Madame Blavatsky

Madame Blavatsky is a titan of Fundamentalist Occultism who died from the flu in London in 1891 at age 59. She was also one of the world’s greatest bullshit artists, and possibly an intelligence agent, like many other occult icons.

Blavatsky fabricated a head-spinning early biography that placed her in Cairo, Paris, London, New York, Chicago, Salt Lake City and San Francisco in the mid-1800s, where she supposedly held meetings with important mediums. She claimed to have become the only westerner to gain access to the holy city of Tibet, an obvious fabrication.

No doubt Blavatsky was fully exposed to Freemasonry, and her books shared Albert Pike’s affection for plagiarizing huge sections from other manuscripts sans attribution, although Pike never claimed special powers (that I know of), while Blavatsky claimed secret masters had given her special abilities, among which were telepathy, clairvoyance, clairaudience, controlling the consciousness of others, and materializing and dematerializing physical objects.

It’s interesting she moved to India at a time of great social turmoil, summoned by her secret masters, and led an entourage around that country, from one sacred site to another, while encouraging Indians to embrace their native culture, which kept her under the close watch of British intelligence. She eventually created over 100 lodges devoted to her new religion, Theosophy, most of which were in India and probably still operating today. Have you read my theory Gandhi was a spook whose mission was to keep Indians non-violent to prevent the rise of an armed insurrection against British rule?

Although it’s obvious Blavatsky’s claims of magic powers were fraudulent, her basic message was actually a good one, as she sought to unite all religions, like Mani had done millennia before. She was obviously well-read in occult and Eastern religious traditions and freely incorporated elements from a wide variety of sources. The cleverly named National Socialist German Worker’s Party would lift her fascination with Tibet along with the swastika, although she’d appropriated that symbol from Jainism, the original religion of non-violence and “no gods.” Lifting symbols from other cultures while reversing their intended meaning is a magical trick.

Occultists make great spooks, and Aleister Crowley’s connections to SIS are well documented at this point. Crowley remained an asset for most of his life, and many suspect his induction into a German secret society (OTO) was actually part of his spook activities, just as Hitler’s introduction to Thule was part of his, but later in life, when James Bond creator Ian Fleming was his handler, “C” felt the Great Beast’s days as a useful asset were over. C is the real code name for the head of the circus, not the “M” deployed by Fleming in print. Blavatsky could have been an independent agent successfully inventing a completely new age religion, or then again she could have been someone’s spook. One thing I know for sure: her claim of magic powers was a lie.

The Lombard werewolves

Lombard King Albion successfully conquered much of Italy around 570. His nomadic warrior tribe was obviously of Scythian descent and had recently crossed the Alps from Germany after residing briefly in the Balkans. They ended up settling down permanently in Italy and the Roman Empire (weakened by invasions and disease) allowed these pagans to retain some of their own culture well into the Middle Ages. Eventually, however, the Lombards became major targets of the Inquisition.

The painting above concerns the death of King Albion, murdered by a plot involving his wife and her brother. He was killed while asleep, his weapons having been previously removed from the chamber, although the depiction of a lance is appropriate, since the lance had replaced the battle ax as primary magical totem for his warrior class, although it was soon usurped by the rise of the magic sword. The passing of the king’s lance was the Lombard ceremony marking the enthronement of a new king.

On the eve of a battle against the Assipi, the number of tents and fires inside the Lombard encampment suddenly tripled and Lombard spies inside Maurina began circulating a fable that magic reinforcements had arrived, men-wolf hybrids who lusted after human blood, and once fed, would become invincible, infused with a miraculous superhuman energy. To enhance this drama, men with wolf masks wearing wolf hides ran howling through the camp upon ascension of the full moon.
This tactic was so effective it was probably deployed many times prior to a battle. The part about drinking human blood was real, for just like their Saka ancestors, Lombards believed in decapitating enemies in battle and drinking blood from their skull caps.

According to Herodotus, the insides of these human chalices were once plated with gold, while the outside wrapped with human or animal skin. But after settling in Italy, the Lombard’s published a detailed description of their human chalices, which by this time included metal bases. This is the true origin of the Holy Grail.

According to Vita Barbati, an elaborate Scythian-like pagan ceremony was still being held outside the town of Benevento in 663. Young men on horseback with lances would ride full gallop past a hide hanging from a tree located on the banks of a river. After everyone pierced it, they tore the hide to bits with their teeth and devoured the pieces.

This was just the sort of activity the Vatican frowned upon so Benevento eventually became a major target of the Inquisition. Early on, punishments and accusations were mild. But after the Reformation kicked in, both sides deployed accusations of witchcraft as a primary tool of terror. A fraudulent book was published in Germany, the Malleus Maleficarum (Witch’s Hammer), which gave instructions on how to identify, torture and kill witches with great dispatch. For example, if a women did not cry during a witch trial, it was deemed sufficient evidence she was a witch and fully acceptable same as a confession in a court of law. It was fairly easy to deploy the Malleus to attack just about anyone for any reason, and although the Vatican condemned the book as false, it ended up on the desk of many Inquisitors as the go-to manual. As a forged political document, I’d equate it on the scale of the infamous Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

For hundreds of years, Lombards covered themselves in oil on certain nights for ritual lucid dreaming, in which they turned into animal guides to battle demons on the astral plane to ensure a bountiful harvest. When told to stop practicing this witchcraft, they protested their innocence of evil to no avail. Much of our werewolf mythology as well as witch’s sabbats around a walnut tree spring from Benevento.

The oldest known mask of Anubis, the Egyptian god of the underworld who weighed which souls got into heaven. He also used a magic oil.

Meanwhile, many centuries later, in 1589, Peter Stumpp was put on a rack in Germany and claimed to have met the Devil at age 12 and received a magic girdle that allowed him to take wolf form. He confessed to killing and eating 14 children, including his own long dead son, as well as having forbidden sex with his daughter and a unwed mistress.

On October 31, 1589, he was chained to a wheel and ripped into ten pieces by red-hot pincers. His limbs were then broken with the blunt side of an ax to prevent his return from the afterlife. He was burned on a pyre along with his daughter and mistress, who’d already been flayed and strangled before his eyes. The torture wheel was then displayed on a pole with a figure of a wolf and Stumpp’s severed head placed on top.

Although the Inquisition began with a whimper, it went out with a roar, as every fantasy invented by Malleus Maleficarum came to life in the minds of the people. Witches never really existed, and black magic sorcery seldom practiced by peasants, but after centuries of terror and mind control, the numbers of evil doers rose immensely, as if in a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Natural magic versus sorcery

When surveying the history of magic and religion, one finds more fakers, frauds and con men than real avatars simply because it’s easy for clever people to hoodwink the masses with magic and religion. And nothing has changed much, which is why fraudulent books like the Da Vinci Code, Holy Blood, Holy Grail, and everything written about an imaginary Yaqui medicine man named Don Juan is utter bullshit.

Magic is real, however, and runs through us all naturally. I like to use sports as an example. When a basketball team makes a huddle, clasps their hands and utters a mantra after a countdown, they are participating in a ritual of harmonization designed to unify the team telepathically. The teams that are the most connected telepathically tend to win against teams with internal psychic issues of discord.

During the Scientific Revolution, many wise people applied the scientific method to the study of magic with interesting results, and no one more so than Giambattista della Porta, a playwright living in Naples circa 1600. When he was merely 15-years-old, della Porta published the comprehensive Magiae Naturalis (Natural Magic). For thousands of years, the study of mathematics, music and magic (they are related) was confined within secret societies. For example, to learn the secrets of Pythagoras, one first had to spend months in monk-like silence, meditating daily at sunrise and sunset, before the masters unveiled any secrets. After passing this vow of silence (not everyone could do it), one was admitted as a full-fledged initiate, and began the study of music and mathematics in earnest. The nice part about Pythagoras was he admitted women as equals, which was quite rare at the time. Freemasonry would not be so kind.

Since he was of noble birth and financially well-off, della Porta was able to travel through Europe at a relatively young age visiting libraries and universities. He went on a mission to garner secret information and expose it to the public. Unlike the many fraudulent magic books of the time, most of which promised the secret of turning lead to gold, or how to make love charms, or how to fly, or some other such imaginary magical powers, della Porta’s book concentrated on experiments he could replicate.

“There are two sorts of Magick,” he wrote. “The one is infamous and unhappy because it has to do with foul spirits, and consists of incantations and wicked curiosity, and this is called Sorcery, an art which all good and learned people detest. Neither is it able to yield a truth of reason or nature, but stands merely on fancies and imaginations, such as vanish presently away leaving nothing behind them, as Jamblicus writes in his book concerning the mysteries of the Egyptians. The other Magick is natural, which all excellent wise men do admit and embrace and worship with great applause.”

Large portions of Natural Magic concerned agriculture and animal breeding. The book explained how to graft trees to produce hybrid fruit. It also describes the effects of various herbs and their use as medicines. Della Porta studied photography, military history and distillation. Although greatly overshadowed by Galileo, he claimed to have constructed the first telescope. He tried to create a wireless telegraph system using magnets created by the same lodestone. Although it didn’t work, his concept of wireless communication was far ahead of its time.

In 1578, della Porta came to the attention of the Inquisition, which closed down his academy and forced him to study in secret, and he quickly became the most advanced cryptographer of his day. He also wrote over 20 plays, most of which were comedies, although only 17 have survived. Apparently, they hold up quite well although you never see productions of them anywhere.

While surveying the history of magic, people like della Porta and Paracelsus stand out as honest students of the occult, but their influence was never as great as the fakers who invented magical myths promising secret powers that don’t exist except in the imagination. It’s a formula that still works well today.

Reflections on a walnut tree

Just as fired clay pots replaced braziers after cannabis intoxication switched from inhalation in tipis to drinking hot cannabis-infused milk in chalices, the arrival of the Menorah in Judea may have signaled a switch to incense fumigation supplemented by full body immersion (with oral and vaginal and anal ingestion always an option)

Since the original menorah didn’t survive, these two quotes are pretty much all we have to go on.

I see a lampstand all of gold, with a bowl above it. The lamps on it are seven in number, and the lamps above it have seven pipes; and by it are two olive trees, one on the right of the bowl, and one on its left….Three bowls shall be made like almond blossoms on one branch, with an ornamental knob and a flower, and three bowls made like almond blossoms on the other branch, with an ornamental knob and a flower.”

Menorah of Zechariah’s vision, Cervera Bible, 1299

The most important element seems to be the presence of those bowls above the flames.

I could only find one ancient image that even tried to approximate the description from the Torah and Old Testament. Those bowls are possibly where cannabis oil would have been placed to fumigate a room, creating a cannabis sauna.

This certainly gives new light to why the phrase “oil lamp” appears with such frequency in the New Testament.

It’s interesting that the almond tree is signaled out for such special attention. It was first cultivated in Bactria and became a protein staple for nomadic Scythians. The Persian trail mix of almonds, honey and dates was the most popular snack all along the Silk Road for millennia and many lived on it exclusively when making long voyages.
And speaking on nut trees and magic.

Almond tree flowers

I recently read a report on an Italian alchemical website claiming the fleur de lis is actually the male and female flower of the walnut tree put together, and the male flower is the real object on display at the Vatican, a statue lifted from the Temple of Isis.
But when I looked at male walnut flowers on the Internet, they looked too long and stringy to convince me and I’ve already written my theory the statute is a giant pineal gland, something many ancient sages considered the seat of the soul.

That did get me thinking about the popularity of walnut trees and walnut wands in magical history. So I went on a search to discover the source of that legend, and found it in Italy. In 1639, Physician Pietro Piperno published On the Superstitious Walnut Tree of Benevento, which tracked the occult origins of the walnut tree back to the 7th century, when Benevento was a Lombard duchy. The Lombards seem to have had a somewhat Saka ancestry. They worshiped a winged golden viper, according to Piperno, and held annual ceremonies involving displays of horsemanship around a tree. These rituals became the origin of witches sabbats held under a giant walnut tree. In fact, the identity of the original tree was lost, and the walnut tree may be a later invention. Whatever that tree might have been, a priest named Barbatus chopped down a nearby walnut tree in 1498, claiming it was the evil one, tore out its roots and built a chapel on the spot named Santa Maria in Voto. As for the golden winged viper, he smelted that into a golden chalice for his Eucharist ceremonies.

flowering walnut tree

During his investigation into paganism, Barbatus got Matteuciccia da Todi (probably a midwife) to confess to being a witch (no doubt under severe torture). This confession may be how Barbatus became Saint Barbatus. Poor Matteuciccia seems to be the one who placed walnuts into the history of magic. So next time you wave a walnut wand, keep her story in mind because that magical tool you’re using may be a bit rusty on karma, in comparison, say, to a wand of hemp. But only if real magic is what you’re looking for.

The other part of this story is that these so-called witches of Benevento anointed themselves with a psychoactive oil during certain ceremonies, and I believe it could be the same oil employed by Scythian widows for ritual suicide, a practice that remained in India for centuries until the British were able to get control over Hinduism and eliminated it as barbaric.

Were walnut or hemp wands dipped to stir the oil during distillation and then employed for oral, vaginal and/or anal ingestion? I suspect that may be the true origin of the magical broomstick.

The Fraudulent Founding of Modern Magick

Nicolas Flamel was a scribe, notary and bookseller in the late 1300s in Paris who grew immensely wealthy, eventually founding fourteen hospitals while donating handsomely to many chapels and churches. In the 1700s, several hundred years after his death, The Book of Hieroglyphic Figures appeared and purported to have been written by him. Its introduction described how for two guilders, the author purchased the Book of Abramelin the Mage, an unusual manuscript on tree bark written in a strange language by Abraham the Jew, an Egyptian magician. According to the book, the author decoded Abramelin’s formulas of magic and alchemy, learning the secrets of the philosopher’s stone, which accounted for his great wealth and success in life.

The Book of Hieroglyphic Figures immediately became the go-to manual for magic all over Europe and exerted tremendous influence over the development of Freemasonry, the Golden Dawn and OTO. Only one problem, however: it was an obvious hoodwink. Flamel lived into his eighties and designed his own tombstone (see below), which contained only images of Jesus, Peter and Paul. He was a devout Catholic with an extensive biography that never mentions alchemy or occult ritual even once. If Flamel had a secret source of income beyond his bookstores and notary offices, it has yet to be discovered, but it’s safe to say any claims he was turning lead into gold is a total fabrication. His great wealth and connections with ancient manuscripts made him the perfect foil on which to hang a magical hoodwink. No doubt Flamel rolled in his grave after being posthumously transformed into the world’s greatest magician, instead of the great benefactor of Catholicism he actually was.

Forget about the phony DaVinci Code and numerous other rabbit holes. If you want to decode the real story of religion and magic, you first must expose the hoodwinks and then follow the trail to their source to expose the charlatan. (It’s interesting Flamel was turned into the world’s greatest alchemist when Francois Rabelais remains a better candidate for that throne, and actually did the necessary work.)

In 1761, Etienne Villain claimed the book’s real author was P. Arnauld de la Chevalerie, the publisher who was profiting immensely off its sales. Unfortunately, Villain’s expose gained little traction and even Issac Newton was eventually taken in by the hoodwink. You find this pattern of fake secret knowledge appearing throughout the history of magic, all leading into rabbit holes instead of real enlightenment. A modern equivalent would be the Don Juan series of books that continue to hoodwink even today.

Eventually, the Book of Abramelin the Mage also appeared written in German, although in somewhat fragmentary form. According to this manuscript, the road to enlightenment required months of daily prayer at sunrise and sunset, chastity, fasting and avoidance of intoxicants (echoes of Pythagoras and Mani). With the help of your guardian angel, who will appear after months of prayer, the budding magician need only capture and bind 12 devils in order to usurp their powers. Once this is done, the ability to cast love charms, find buried treasure, fly and become invisible will be conferred.

The magical tools employed by Abramelin included a wand made from an almond tree, and an oil and incense derived from the Old Testament. There was also a lamp for burning the oil. Although the oil was identified only as Abramelin Oil, it was supposed to replicate the original anointing oil of Moses. It would become an essential tool in the rituals of the Golden Dawn and OTO, although they didn’t agree on the recipe. They both got it wrong, replacing kaneh bosem with calamus or galangal (a relative of ginger).

Here is the actual recipe from Exodus 30:22-25:

Take thou…pure myrrh five hundred shekels, and of sweet cinnamon half so much, even two hundred and fifty shekels, and of kaneh bosem, two hundred and fifty shekels, and of cassia five hundred shekels, and of oil olive an hin: And thou shalt make it an oil of holy ointment, an ointment compounded after the art of the apothecary: it shall be an holy anointing oil.

The translation of kaneh bosem (fragrant cane) was not correctly identified until Sula Benet published Early Diffusion and Folk Uses of Hemp in 1967. Meanwhile, for hundreds of years, churches and magical societies have all been dutifully burning incense and anointing themselves with oil containing zero psychoactive effect. Although Crowley loved psychoactive substances, he too was taken in, for here is his personal recipe:

8 parts cinnamon oil, 4 parts myrrh, 2 parts galangal, 7 parts olive oil

All manner of nonsense was written about the purpose, effect and great power of Abramelin Oil. Fumigating temples with cannabis incenses and serving cannabis beverages were employed by numerous temples in ancient times to enhance the spiritual experience, much the same way a psychedelic garage band might hand out mushrooms before a concert today. But if you remove all psychoactive substances, there is no enhancement, and no magic, just a weak form of fake magic.

In Praise of Paracelsus

He was a contemporary of Copernicus, Leonardo da Vinci and Martin Luther, and greatly persecuted in his day, although few know anything about him today, despite his enormous influence on medicine, psychology, chemistry, toxicology and astrology. “Let no man belong to another who can belong to himself,” was his motto.

He believed in the concept “as above, so below,” although he interpreted these as macrocosm (nature) and microcosm (man). He studied the Romans and Greeks, and rejected just about every mainstream medical concept employed during the middle ages, especially blood-letting and the application of cow manure to heal open wounds.

His real name was Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim but he took the name Paracelsus to indicate he was advancing the same scientific method employed by Roman physician Celsus, who had authored De Medicina around 30 AD, a book in which the word “cancer” first appeared to describe tumors.

“The patients are your textbook, the sickbed is your study,” was one of Paracelsus’ favorite sayings when instructing students and he allowed folk healers, barber-surgeons and apothecaries to address his classes in order to probe their experiences.

Paracelsus invented a pain-relieving tincture of opium and named it Laudanum. He was the first to suggest some disease was a product of the imagination, and invented the concept of an unconscious mind. He was a great student of astrology, which kept him in constant conflict with the Vatican. Carl Jung was deeply affected by his investigations into magical symbolism.

Paracelsus believed the universe was one organism with a common energy flowing through everything, which is why he felt the cures for many diseases might be found in plants, chemicals, minerals or sometimes, stars. He wrote a book titled Achidoxes of Magic, in which he rejected the occult theories of Heinrich Agrippa and Nicolas Flamel, while advancing his own.

He created his own magical alphabet for astrologically-based talismans and may have influenced “the alphabet of the Magi.” He was the first doctor to suggest mental patients be treated humanely and not warehoused in prisons for the insane, as they were suffering from curable maladies.

By the time he was 40 years old, he was forced out of his professorship and wandered Europe as a penniless hobo for years until his death in Salzburg at age 47.

The Story of Manu and Yemo

Screen Shot 2015-11-14 at 10.32.13 AMOver 130,000 years ago, the human population may have dwindled as low as 10,000 before the great migration out of Africa began thanks to global warming. The origin of all people and all languages (except Neanderthals) resides in Africa, and so does the origin of religion.

Religion’s primary function has never changed. It’s primary purpose was to anoint the local king and priest with a divine right to authority, although it probably helped if the message was crafted in an entertaining fashion, so for countless millennia, religion was transmitted primarily through song, dance and poetry. When Sumer emerged as a civilization, there were already bigger civilizations happening in Romania, where the Danube meets the Black Sea, and central Turkey, although few celebrate those cultures today.

The Black Sea civilization, composed of small farms and sprawling villages, suddenly disappeared after invasions by the nomadic people of the steppes to their east, who stole their cattle and kidnapped their people to be sold as slaves. These invaders rode horses and possessed metal alloy weapons far superior to copper or stone. These weapons may have come from Sumer and/or Egyptian sources, the result of trading with those cultures. But the people of the steppes also possessed something all their own, the world’s best cannabis, which became a valued commodity. They invaded the cities south of the Black Sea and established themselves as the ruling oligarchy.

The Yamna of the steppes spread a creation myth heard round the world, the story of Manu and Yemo, which has many versions depending on time and place, but all the versions contain the basics of the story.

Deus Pater (father sky) Prithvi Mater (mother earth) give birth to twin brothers, Manu and Yemo. One day Manu kills Yemo and cuts him up to create the plants, animals and human beings. Trito, the third man, is born and given dominion over cattle, whose milk sustains the people. But one night all the cattle are stolen by a three-headed dragon. Trito asks the Sun God for help getting the cattle back. With the help of the Sun, Trito travels to the mountain where the dragon sleeps in a cave. He slays the dragon and leads the cattle home, saving his tribe from starvation.

Wherever you find an Indo-European language spoken, you’ll find some version of this myth.

See also: Anu or Marduk vs. Tiamat in Mesopotamian mythology; Ra vs. Apep in Egyptian mythology; Baal or El vs. Lotan or Yam-Nahar in Levantine mythology; Yahweh or Gabriel vs. Leviathan or Rahab or Tannin in Jewish mythology; Michael the Archangel and, Christ vs. Satan (in the form of a seven-headed dragon), Virgin Mary crushing a serpent in Roman Catholic iconography (see Book of Revelation 12), Saint George and the Dragon in Christian mythology. The Norse Ragnarök, as well as Poseidon, Oceanus, Triton, Ophion, and also the Slavic Veles. Possibly called *kʷr̥mis, or some name cognate with *Velnos/Werunos or the root *Wel/Vel– (VS Varuna, who is associated with the serpentine naga, Vala and Vṛtra, Slavic Veles, Baltic velnias), or “serpent” (Hittite Illuyanka, VS Ahis, Iranian azhi, Greek ophis and Ophion, and Latin anguis), or the root *dheubh– (Greek Typhon and Python).

Pythagoras was a stoner

No person looms larger in the evolution of science, magic and religion than Pythagoras, who transformed the math, music and philosophy of his day, yet not a single document from his own hand exists, and his legacy is clouded by disinfo while people like Plato, Euclid and Copernicus get credit for most of his breakthroughs in philosophy and science.

Pythagoras is known today only for a theorem that carries his name, i.e.: the square of the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides. This equation formed the foundation for mathematics and none of the great cathedrals of Europe could have been built without it. In a similar way, the Gregorian Chants are based on Pythagorean equations. And yet, few know anything about the man, and most of what people know, is probably disinfo.

Born in a Greek colony, Pythagoras was a hybrid offspring, which likely contributed to his ability to move through many cultures of his time with such ease. He spent decades studying in Egypt, Persia and Greece, and became the finest orator, philosopher, magician and astrologer of his day. He was trained in the Zoroastrian tradition by the Magi, the greatest magicians and astronomers of their time. The Magi drank milk mixed with cannabis as their primary sacrament and medicine.

Toward the end of his life (at age 56), Pythagoras retired to an island off Italy, where he was joined by his most devoted disciples, establishing a monastic secret society devoted to music, meditation and scientific truth. They were vegetarians and would wear neither leather nor wool. Discoveries were shared only with members of the society and it took two years for new initiates to become fully accepted. Pythagoras had joined many such societies through his vast travels, but this was his hybridization of the best elements of them all.

The monastery met every morning at sunrise to greet the dawn with song and dance. Apollo held a special place in their hearts because after Herakles stole the treasured tripod of the Oracle of Delphi, it was Apollo who gave chase to make sure the sacred vessel was returned so that the Oracle could resume her prophesying.

The tripod is Scythian or Zoroastrian in origin and would have been employed to burn cannabis flowers and other incenses. The Oracle would stand (or even sit) over the tripod while meditating and allow smoke and vapors enter her vagina. Although they employed a different delivery system, this is essentially what Zoroaster (and later Moses) did to achieve their revelations (which explains the “burning bush” reference in the Old Testament).

The Pythagoreans employed many sacred symbols, but especially beloved were the three-legged tripod and the triangular tetrad. Many legends claim the secrets of the tetrad (the harmonic intervals) were discovered only after Pythagoras heard some blacksmiths hammering with different size hammers, but in fact, this revelation was obviously achieved through the study of the seven-stringed lute because the math is only expressed through different string lengths.

And that’s why I know the story of Pythagoras has been all mucked up with fake information. Was Pythagoras murdered or did he die of old age? Did he go bareheaded or wear a turban? And the most important question of all, did he use cannabis? Legend says he sacrificed 100 oxen after discovering his magic triangle theorem, but since he was non-violent and a devoted vegetarian, rest assured that detail was inserted by his enemies, as were many other rabbit holes.

But the legends don’t deny Pythagoras used a tripod in his ceremonies. They just don’t tell you what it’s significance was or how it connects to cannabis intoxication. If Pythagoras was doing it the old-fashioned Saka way, he would have simply placed the tripod with those burning coals and buds inside a small tent or tipi-like structure or even a closet, stepped inside and inhaled the vapors. Or he could have employed a reed or pipe to achieve much the same effect. But I will always believe Pythagoras (and Socrates after him) were devoted stoners.

The True Story of Santa Claus

Here’s what a dollar looked like in ancient Persia.

According to Wikipedia, this is Yahweh, seated on a wheel with wings, holding what appears to be a bird. Yahweh started out leading a pantheon as in Vedic, Nordic and Roman mythologies. Around 800 BC he becomes the only god, and you are not allowed to make representations of him or even say his name. Yahweh becomes Santa Claus. The bird is the elves and the flying wheel is the magic sleigh.

Maybe you fell for the hoodwink Santa was a mushroom. I know I did for years. It took me decades to figure out R. Gordon Wasson was a spook seeding disinfo. Same thing for the theory Jesus was a mushroom. Yes, Siberians used mushrooms during the ceremonies (and so did some Templars). But Siberian shamans don’t worship reindeer and don’t travel in sleighs. Others try to assert Santa was invented by Madison Avenue, when, in fact Santa emerged all over Europe during the Middle Ages.

Since Santa was built on top of Scythian ceremonies, he’s really an evolution of the father god, as in Indra/Odin/Zeus/Jupiter. But the Zoroastrians dispensed with the pantheon, claiming one great spirit ran the entire universe, and that person was soon dubbed Yahweh. Both the Zoroastrians and the Buddhists evolved from Scythian culture.

Golden Scythian deer.

Scythians wore red outfits like Santa. Santa’s hat is a phygerian with a puff ball, like the Scythian hat. Scythians worshiped a golden deer with antlers. In the beginning, the Scythian god rode a magic horse with eight legs. His ravens morph into Zwarte Piet in the Netherlands and magic elves in England. The primary intoxicant of the Scythians for millennia was cannabis. No mushrooms nor mushroom iconography can be found in their kurgans, although cannabis abounds in the form of hemp clothing, hemp flowers and hemp seeds, and often a couple of cannabis kolas crossed on top of the corpse’s chest. Not to mention the elaborate golden Scythian chalices have been found to contain residues of cannabis and opium. So where do you think Santa really came from? A mushroom? Or our Scythian ancestors? It’s worth noting that like the Native Americans, the Scythians believed their ancestors emerged from the north.

Since Yahweh was inspired by cannabis users, one wonders how and why cannabis disappeared from world history, and why such an elaborate hoodwink was created to misdirect toward mushrooms.

Because the Scythians who started this didn’t have a written language beyond runes, they left no explanation for the evolution of Yahweh into Santa Claus. In fact, the only thing they did leave us were the kurgan tombs, most of which were easily located and plundered because as soon as people in Russia realized the tombs were filled with golden objects, most kurgans got raided and all the priceless gold artifacts were melted down, a tremendous tragedy because of the quality of the craftsmanship, and also because the golden cups (chalices) were employed to drink cannabis and hot milk (with a tad of opium and/or ephedra if available).

In 1716 Peter the Great was given sixty gold artifacts from a recently uncovered kurgan and issued an edict that he would pay far more money for any Scythian gold artifacts left intact and not melted down. The most common artifact in the tombs were golden deer with elaborate antlers, leading me to believe the deer was an important source of food, even though the Scythians had horses (which they ate), sheep, goats, oxen and hornless cattle. The two world wars ended kurgan exploration for a time but in the late 1940s, large-scale excavations took place around the Black Sea, and in the 1950s, kurgans were uncovered as far north as Siberia. But the first exhibition of Saka artifacts wasn’t held until 1975.

In 2002, Time-Warner published Jeannine Davis-Kimball’s Warrior Women, which detailed many females found in kurgans, most of whom were buried with armor and weapons because the Scythian women were the source of the Greek Amazon myth. Strangely, you won’t find a single reference to cannabis in her book. Instead, the author makes only one reference to a nameless hallucinogen, which she claims was either smoked or consumed orally. Now ask yourself why the most important sacrament can’t even get a proper ID. Why is our mainstream culture so resistant to giving cannabis its proper place in world history? I’d like to ask Davis-Kimball why she chose to leave the words “cannabis” and “hemp” out of her book entirely, and whether that was something encouraged by the editors at Time-Warner.

While it’s true Coca-Cola and Madison Avenue crafted the modern image of Santa, their version is not that far from Santas found all over Europe in the Middle Ages. Here’s the ancient Dutch version, where Santa’s Scythian-style hat has morphed into a Mitre like those worn by Popes and Bishops, all in an attempt to Christianize the holiday cerebrating the benevolent father god of our ancient ancestors. And, of course, the clincher in this debate is the fact that Santa emerged in Europe with a partner named Krampus, who was part demon, and part goat-man, and who carried a birch switch for punishing the wicked. Krampus was obviously the devil, but nothing like our current incarnation, for his job was punishing the evil ones, not creating them. It was a good-god, bad-god routine, with Krampus scaring kids into being good while the Santa provided the warm embrace of the universal father figure.