Pythagoras was a stoner

No person looms larger in the evolution of science, magic and religion than Pythagoras, who transformed the math, music and philosophy of his day, yet not a single document from his own hand exists, and his legacy is clouded by disinfo while people like Plato, Euclid and Copernicus get credit for most of his breakthroughs in philosophy and science.

Pythagoras is known today only for a theorem that carries his name, i.e.: the square of the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides. This equation formed the foundation for mathematics and none of the great cathedrals of Europe could have been built without it. In a similar way, the Gregorian Chants are based on Pythagorean equations. And yet, few know anything about the man, and most of what people know, is probably disinfo.

Born in a Greek colony, Pythagoras was a hybrid offspring, which likely contributed to his ability to move through many cultures of his time with such ease. He spent decades studying in Egypt, Persia and Greece, and became the finest orator, philosopher, magician and astrologer of his day. He was trained in the Zoroastrian tradition by the Magi, the greatest magicians and astronomers of their time. The Magi drank milk mixed with cannabis as their primary sacrament and medicine.

Toward the end of his life (at age 56), Pythagoras retired to an island off Italy, where he was joined by his most devoted disciples, establishing a monastic secret society devoted to music, meditation and scientific truth. They were vegetarians and would wear neither leather nor wool. Discoveries were shared only with members of the society and it took two years for new initiates to become fully accepted. Pythagoras had joined many such societies through his vast travels, but this was his hybridization of the best elements of them all.

The monastery met every morning at sunrise to greet the dawn with song and dance. Apollo held a special place in their hearts because after Herakles stole the treasured tripod of the Oracle of Delphi, it was Apollo who gave chase to make sure the sacred vessel was returned so that the Oracle could resume her prophesying.

The tripod is Scythian or Zoroastrian in origin and would have been employed to burn cannabis flowers and other incenses. The Oracle would stand (or even sit) over the tripod while meditating and allow smoke and vapors enter her vagina. Although they employed a different delivery system, this is essentially what Zoroaster (and later Moses) did to achieve their revelations (which explains the “burning bush” reference in the Old Testament).

The Pythagoreans employed many sacred symbols, but especially beloved were the three-legged tripod and the triangular tetrad. Many legends claim the secrets of the tetrad (the harmonic intervals) were discovered only after Pythagoras heard some blacksmiths hammering with different size hammers, but in fact, this revelation was obviously achieved through the study of the seven-stringed lute because the math is only expressed through different string lengths.

And that’s why I know the story of Pythagoras has been all mucked up with fake information. Was Pythagoras murdered or did he die of old age? Did he go bareheaded or wear a turban? And the most important question of all, did he use cannabis? Legend says he sacrificed 100 oxen after discovering his magic triangle theorem, but since he was non-violent and a devoted vegetarian, rest assured that detail was inserted by his enemies, as were many other rabbit holes.

But the legends don’t deny Pythagoras used a tripod in his ceremonies. They just don’t tell you what it’s significance was or how it connects to cannabis intoxication. If Pythagoras was doing it the old-fashioned Saka way, he would have simply placed the tripod with those burning coals and buds inside a small tent or tipi-like structure or even a closet, stepped inside and inhaled the vapors. Or he could have employed a reed or pipe to achieve much the same effect. But I will always believe Pythagoras (and Socrates after him) were devoted stoners.

Was Socrates a stoner?

Aristophanes was the Neil Simon of ancient Greece, famous for writing comedies lampooning the historical figures of his day. Students of theater and classics read at least one of his plays during freshman year.

Dr. Carl Ruck introduced the idea of Socrates being a stoner, as evidenced by The Clouds, Aristophanes’ parody of the famous philospher. Plato felt this play contributed to the climate of mistrust that resulted in Socrates being put on trial for corrupting youth and introducing new deities, a trial that condemned him to death.

Since I’d never heard mention of a cannabis connection to Socrates, I had to revisit the play to check it out for myself. Initially, Socrates flies in from above seated in a basket that apparently has the magic ability to float as if suspended from a balloon.

“I’d never come up with a single celestial idea if I didn’t suspend my mind up high,” explains Socrates. Whenever he needs creative inspiration, he calls on his clouds to gather around him.

“They’re the only deities we have—the rest is just so much hocus pocus,” he explains. “They’re heavenly clouds, goddesses for lazy men—from them we get our thought, our powers of speech, our comprehension, our gift for fantasy and endless talk, our power to strike responsive chords in speech and then rebut opponent’s arguments.”

After being introduced to these clouds, Strepsiades says: “….having heard their voice, my soul is aflutter and already desires to argue trivialities and quibble obsessively about smoke (kapnos).”

So are the clouds of Aristophanes really a sly reference to clouds of marijuana smoke? It seems not only possible, but likely. Aristophanes was a conservative, or maybe he just made fun of new ideas because his audience was conservative, but he seems to have used the phrase “man of smoke” in several plays as a put-down. Usually, it’s translated as “one who talks big but delivers little,” but after hearing Dr. Ruck’s interpretation, I have to wonder if “man of smoke” wasn’t Aristophanes’ version of “stupid stoner.”

Socrates lived in Athens but did not believe in democracy. He thought that since there were always going to be more dumb people than smart people, the demogogues would always prevail. The word means: “people leader” in Greek. One of Socrates’ favorite students was Alcilbiades, who conspired to overthrow the Athenian democracy and replace it with a short-lived oligarchy. Socrates was a scapegoat and they never meant to kill him, only expel him or get a confession of his crimes. One of his crimes seems to have been misusing their religion. The most important ceremony was the walk to Eleusis and partaking of the kykeon, a sacrament mired in confusion. No one was allowed to talk about this in public, so the trial skirted around this issue. Rather than admit wrongdoing, Socrates preferred to take his own life, being over 70 and having achieved everything he wanted in life.