Parable of the Phoenix

The Phoenix is a magical bird that re-emerges in cycles because energy pulses across the multi-dimensional universes. He/she stands for peace and love and harmony of all things, but is highly hunted and captured by Sharks also known as the Illuminati. The dark lords seek to clip his/her wings and lock the magic in a dungeon to wither without food or water so they can continue to rape the Apes, while profiting off arranging wars for profit, and plotting savage pump and dumps on Wall Street.

When Phoenix420 heard Caesar, smartest Ape in the galaxy, invited all Apes and Baby Apes to come to a feast he was planning called Gamestonk, he bought a ticket and soon discovered the Sharks were circling Caesar, planning to eat him. So he flew to the Alamo, where Caesar holed up for a last stand. And like Davy fucking Crockett, he came to hold the fucking line or die.

Do not be afraid, scared little Baby Apes. Phoenix420 walks among you with unicorn skills. He can Eurostep to the rim on Shark bots,  and fashion golden keys out of thin air, keys that open Shark dungeons and escape hatches from Shark rabbit holes.

But his magic is dyslexic and retarded in comparison to Caesar’s, who is the messiah of the New Era because he showed the way to unify the Apes and shower them in bananas.

This is the way.

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